Navigating Conflict in the Workplace: It's a Whole New World, Y'all
Over the past year, I’ve received more calls than ever about the same topic: How do I navigate conflict at work? The situations vary—an employee yelling in a meeting, someone refusing one-on-ones, a supervisor oversharing about coworkers, or a leader struggling with mental health and job responsibilities. But the theme is the same:
People feel less stable, and workplace conflict is showing up more often and more intensely.
This guide explains why humans feel off right now and outlines clear, repeatable steps for teaching and managing conflict in your workplace.
Why People Are Struggling at Work
1. Pandemic-Era Remote Work Left Gaps
Remote work has enormous benefits, yet many organizations never built the culture needed to sustain it. True remote-first culture requires intentional trust-building.
Why this matters: Conflict resolution relies on trust. Without regular, meaningful interaction—not just task meetings—issues are overlooked or avoided until they explode.
Action for employers
Build multiple connection points each week (not just operational meetings).
Normalize conversations focused on relationships, not just deliverables.
2. Social Media Is Reshaping Norms
Online culture encourages critique over curiosity. People say things online they’d never say face-to-face. This spills into the workplace through gossip, quick judgments, and indirect forms of conflict.
Action for employers
Define acceptable online and offline behavior.
Reinforce norms consistently, not just during orientation.
Provide examples of constructive feedback and respectful disagreement.
3. We Live in a BANI World
Kevin Kruse’s BANI framework—Brittle, Anxious, Non-Linear, Incomprehensible—describes today’s constant disruption.
Brittle: Systems break more easily (e.g., major tech outages).
Anxious: Mental health challenges slow decisions and cloud thinking.
Non-Linear: Crises overlap; recovery is no longer predictable.
Incomprehensible: Information overload makes clarity harder to find.
In a BANI world, employees often flee (ghost their employer), freeze (stop producing), or fawn (burn out or shut down). The conflict doesn’t surface, but the impact is the same.
A Simple, Teachable Workplace Conflict Process
Most employees first learn about conflict only through the handbook, which focuses on extreme situations. What’s missing is a clear process for everyday disagreements. Use the steps below to build a culture of trust and accountability.
Step 1: Employees Attempt Direct Resolution (Unless Unsafe)
Teach employees to try solving conflicts themselves first.
Directions for employees
Listen actively without interrupting.
Identify shared goals or common ground.
Practice empathy—reflect rather than react.
Focus on the issue, not the person.
Restore trust when needed (apologize, clarify expectations).
If resolution happens here, the process ends.
Step 2: Bring in a Supervisor or HR
If direct conversation fails, involve a neutral party whose role is to support resolution, not take sides.
Directions for supervisors/HR
Listen to understand the full picture.
Encourage open dialogue between the parties.
Use structured strategies (facilitated conversations, shared agreements).
Keep responsibility with the employees—not HR.
Step 3: Have the Hard Conversation
If parties still can’t resolve the situation, leaders must intervene more firmly.
Directions for leaders
Clarify that action is required: the conflict must be resolved or released.
Establish consequences for avoiding agreed-upon steps.
Follow up consistently to ensure accountability.
Avoid becoming the go-between—employees must stay engaged in their own resolution.
If the conflict still doesn’t resolve, it becomes a leadership issue requiring broader decisions about roles, expectations, or team structure.
Sometimes, people just don't want resolution to a conflict. There are a million reasons why, and it's still super frustrating. I always come back to this advice from Mia Mingus:
If we cannot handle the small things between us, how will we be able to handle the big things? Learning how to address these smaller hurts or breaks in trust, can help us learn the basic skills we need to address larger harms. It can also help to reduce and prevent larger forms of harm and violence (e.g. hurt becoming conflict, conflict becoming harm, harm becoming violence). For example, if you cannot have a direct conversation with your friend about how they hurt your feelings or the toxic language your roommate used, then how will you be able to respond effectively to sexual violence or abuse in your community or family?
Learning how to navigate conflict is a crucial skill for humanity. We can wonder if we will ever have conflict at work. That's the wrong approach. Conflict WILL happen, but it's up to us in how we handle ourselves. I coach groups all the time on how to navigate sticky situations, and I almost always come back to the process outlined in this newsletter.
If you need additional help, then please schedule a free call with me. I find that many organizations just need a strategic HR advisor to discuss urgent and/or ongoing employee situations. I offer 1:1 coaching sessions where we can discuss HR project management, difficult employee situations, compliance issues, policy development & implementation, strategic planning, training, and change management. Sessions can be purchased in packages:
3 Sessions: $850, used within 3 months
6 Sessions: $1500, used within 6 months
12 Sessions: $2750, used within 12 months
These sessions can be monthly, as needed, or all in a short time span. It's really up to you how and when you use the sessions. Also, these can flex between 1:1 coaching with you and your entire leadership team.