From Pandemic Healing to Body Liberation: A Consultant's 2023 Journey
As I enter the fourth year of being an external human resources consultant. I have been reflecting on the past twelve months. I’m a big fan of reflection and keep a regular practice. Reflection allows me to process past events and explore learnings below the surface. Here are some 2023 reflections:
I needed some COVID-19 pandemic healing. I read two books this year that knocked me on my bum - The Light We Carry by Michelle Obama and Call Us What We Carry by Amanda Gorman. These reads helped me realize that I was carrying unknown grief and unresolved emotions from the COVID-19 pandemic. For much of 2020-2022, I felt good knowing that our family was healthy, my business was thriving, and my kids were back in school. I thought, “So many people have it way worse than me. I’m really lucky.”
My heart spoke up while reading The Light We Carry. Michelle Obama spoke to my heart like a mother comforting her child. I had clung to certainty in the pandemic, which closed me off to possibility. The certainty gave me much needed grounding in uncertain times. However, Michelle Obama reminded me, “The unknown is where possibility glitters. If you don’t take the risk, if you don’t ride out a few jolts, you are taking away your opportunities to transform.”
My heart opened up to my residing grief while reading Call Us What We Carry. Young poet Amanda Gorman, who stole our hearts at President Biden’s inauguration, put words to the inner workings of my heart, especially the darkness of not being physical connected to my community.
“We lay down our arms
so we can reach out our arms
to one another
We seek harm to none and harmony for all
Let the globe, if nothing else, say this is true:
That even as we grieved, we grew
That even as we hurt, we hoped
That even as we tired, we tried”
While my pandemic situation could have been way worse, I still hurt. I still grieved. And I was still tired. And my mental health was still impacted.
How does this relate to being a human resources consultant? Half of external consulting is not bringing your own baggage into the room with your client. A strong consultant separates their own need to control and be the main character from the client needs. When we have unresolved personal issues, these issues can leak into our work and client relationships.
I finally let go of my body shame. Michelle Obama also wrote about leaning into our vulnerability, and here I go with an attempt. I have struggled with body image since I was 9 years old. I offer that age because that is the first time I remember having different eating habits and a different type of body from my friends. Most of my friends were petite and built like ballet dancers. Several church folk would say, “I was born with child rearing hips.” None of it felt good.
Over the years, I have tried diets, supplements, starving, bingeing, and over-exercising the “control” my weight. Control is listed with quotation marks here because control is just a myth. While I can nurture my body in many ways, I cannot fully control how my body holds weight. Genetics and environmental factors are equal if not greater contributors to my body shape. Mentally, the last sentence makes sense, but my heart doesn’t normally follow logic with my body.
“You Just Need to Lose Weight” And 19 Other Myths About Fat People by Aubrey Gordon was an incredible read this year. Gordon outlines how anti-fat bias is literally woven into our society. Some people will balk at the term “anti-fat bias,” but it’s a real thing. So much of what we think we know about our bodies is based on old science and debunked hypotheses.
Additionally, how we treat our bodies is rooted in ableism. The glorification of bodies that look, move, and operate perfectly marginalizes those who don’t fit that perfect mold. And really, how many of fit that mold? I know that I have spent years trying to hide my imperfections and live up to unrealistic body expectations. To learn more about ableism, try Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories from the 21st Century by Alice Wong. This book was another favorite 2023 read.
Finally, I have to admit that age contributes to my body and overall health. As someone who is quickly approaching menopause, my body feels out of control way more often now. That’s unsettling. The Menopause Manifesto by Dr. Jen Gunter really opened my mind to the male-dominated viewpoints of aging femme bodies. Dominant culture says that an aging body is bad; however, I say NO. My aging body is incredible.
Finally, the continued encouragement from the I Weigh podcast with Jameela Jamil reminds me that my body is my choice, my responsibility, and my gift on this earth.
How does this relate to being a human resources consultant? See my answer above about bringing baggage into client projects. Additionally, I can support human resources policies, procedures, and practices that celebrate and provide access for all bodies. And I can spend less time worrying about my looks when I’m with clients and spend more time focusing on them.
My reading list is not just business books; in fact, I learn more from the non-business books. I have 35 more titles in my 2023 read list. I could write pages upon pages about the amazing books I’ve read and listened to this year. And my list grows every single day with more amazing work. Follow me on LinkedIn to hear my top books for 2023.
Photo by Kimberly Farmer on Unsplash